MaeghanHadleyDotCom

29th June 2011

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Lessons Learned… goodbye, Spike.

This week I had to say goodbye to a special friend. I have had a lot of questions about what happened so I think this is the best way to explain it to everyone…

——————————Background info…

Spike’s early life was a true example of the worst in humanity. He was horribly abused and had he not encountered the people he did when he was young, I know without a doubt he would still be here today. I wont go into detail here but having his ears quite literally CUT OFF of his head was probably not the worst thing he had happen to him… and as it turns out his emotional and mental scars were far worse than his physical ones..

The more time I spent with Spike the more I saw just how painful his previous life must have been. After a few months of fostering him through the Bully Breed Humane Society I decided I would keep him and officially adopted him. I hoped that over time he would learn that the world was not as scary as he thought it was.

We developed a much stronger bond than I ever imaged we would. To the very end he was never anything but the sweetest creature in the world to me. He liked to cuddle and sit on the couch/watch movies. He was missing a few teeth so he got special softer chewy treats and those made him bounce up and down he was so happy. He was more than happy to spend every moment of every day glued to my side, and he would have fought to the death to protect me (I know for fact because someone tried to break into my house once and he hit the door so hard that he cracked the door down the middle).

Even though he was the worlds most perfect dog when sitting next to me, the outside world obviously contained demons that he could never get past. For 2 solid years we worked… Sadly, nothing made him better. He shut down in fear at things that I could never even figure out, and his fear would quickly come out as aggression. The worst part was that you never knew what would cause him to get upset. As time went on the bad days started to outweigh the good… The last few months Spike wouldn’t allow anyone to touch him but me.

——————————What Happened?

I dont know what happened on Sunday… Spike got into a fight with another one of my dogs and the situation ended with one injured and Spike more upset than ever. He still never tried to bite me, but I knew that things were just going to keep getting worse. (he had never been dog aggressive before) That is when I made the decision to put him down on Monday.

The life of fear that he was living was not fair to him, and the life of fear for me was no way for me to live either. Constantly being afraid that something would set him off was not okay, and I wouldnt have been able to forgive myself if he seriously hurt someone.

——————————What Matters.

So there you have it. A very long story and I hope you get to this part…. Because this part is what matters. What matters is Spike was a kind, sweet, creature who had a place in this world. His life mattered. He taught me a lot.  I’m sure this whole thing sounds to some people like “wow, this is a crazy dog lady” but I choose to believe that animals have souls and we can learn a lot from them if we let ourselves. Spike taught me how to accept the bad days and celebrate the good. He taught me about beauty (albeit unconventional ear-less beauty) and how to laugh about things when there is nothing else you can do…. And in the end he taught me how to let go when its time. 

Even though humans caused him unimaginable pain, Spike still allowed me to be a part of his life… I loved that crazy headcase of a dog, and I think he loved his crazy headcase of a human… In a way, we really were meant to find one another. haha.

I hope that the last 2 years allowed Spike to be happy. I hope he felt loved and learned how to be a real dog. I hope I taught him that all people are not evil, and I hope that people can learn from his story someday. I am in the process of opening a small specialized rescue that will cater to severe abuse rescue and rehabilitation. More details about that will come later… but I hope Spike knows how much he has impacted my decision to do that.

**He is proof, you really cant save them all…. But that doesn’t mean they don’t all at least deserve a chance**

Rest In Peace, Spike. You were a 4-legged, mentally unstable, ear-less teacher (who would start yawning and falling asleep if you even SAW a brush)….. and I wouldn’t have traded my time with you here for the world.

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